This being the first holiday season without my father and my family still scattered without the glue that held us all together, I didn't even want to face it. Worried I couldn't hold it together for everyone is something that always worries me. These last few years I have been unraveling to say the least, face to face with my deepest fears, life can look to scary to face but now I'm starting to get the hang of it. Letting others help me is something foreign and very uncomfortable to me. As I struggle to get back on my feet I'm amazes how many people have helped me these last few years and how thankful I am for their support. What I thought was the worst thing every, turned out to be something amazing. The thought that I had to hold it all together for everyone else was not true, to let others give is a blessing for they are blessed in their giving.
With the passing of my father I have never felt so lost this last year, he was my sounding board, knowing me better than I knew myself, he always helped me see things clearer, he was the persons I dreamed my dreams with. As my mind holds on, trying to keep the connection, I am left to talk to myself, hearing his voice only in my mind, but holding onto the past I'm stuck standing still with doubts, not sure what to do to keep moving forward with life. What started out as talking to myself moved slowly into talking to the lord, the original Creator himself. When I was little my father used to read the bible to me, he studied every religion through the years but back then it was all about the New Testament, being my formative years he gave me the gift of faith, through Christ I find hope and the strength that I can face the things that scare me for he is with me cheering me on.
I would like to thank my family for they have kept me going with their love and support. My big sister Brigette who has always been there when I really need her. I would like to thank Ronda and Billy my childhood friends who are like family to me. Ashley who is like a daughter/best friend, Kelly and all my ladies who come to my Wed. night clinics. I would also like to thank Dick Hanks and Lyle Livingston for helping me with hay when I really needed it, I owe you big time. Thank you so much for helping me keep the faith! I am blessed with great friends and family.
For Christmas my family came together, we cooked lots of food, we laughed, we shared, we remembered love, it was beautiful. Thankful
With the passing of my father I have never felt so lost this last year, he was my sounding board, knowing me better than I knew myself, he always helped me see things clearer, he was the persons I dreamed my dreams with. As my mind holds on, trying to keep the connection, I am left to talk to myself, hearing his voice only in my mind, but holding onto the past I'm stuck standing still with doubts, not sure what to do to keep moving forward with life. What started out as talking to myself moved slowly into talking to the lord, the original Creator himself. When I was little my father used to read the bible to me, he studied every religion through the years but back then it was all about the New Testament, being my formative years he gave me the gift of faith, through Christ I find hope and the strength that I can face the things that scare me for he is with me cheering me on.
I would like to thank my family for they have kept me going with their love and support. My big sister Brigette who has always been there when I really need her. I would like to thank Ronda and Billy my childhood friends who are like family to me. Ashley who is like a daughter/best friend, Kelly and all my ladies who come to my Wed. night clinics. I would also like to thank Dick Hanks and Lyle Livingston for helping me with hay when I really needed it, I owe you big time. Thank you so much for helping me keep the faith! I am blessed with great friends and family.
For Christmas my family came together, we cooked lots of food, we laughed, we shared, we remembered love, it was beautiful. Thankful
No comments:
Post a Comment